Insights

Life's been a little stressful today. I'm still not use to the stress. My roommates probably think I'm super depressed. I did so much homework, my brain is fried! I did a lot of thinking today as well.

I decided I want to become Amish just for a day. No phone, no computer, no tv, no lights. Wouldn't that be great! The only thing is I HAVE to have my computer. There is no way I can keep up on my school work without it. There are so many good things to having school work due online, but I get so tired of staring at a computer screen all day. They want us to study 2 hours for every credit. Are you kidding me?! I don't do it. I do it until I get tired and move on to the next assignment. Bad habit, I know.

Switching gears. Have you ever thought about how you affect other people? Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? Like your actions weren't good enough? Have you ever thought your opinions or concerns don't matter to the ones you love? I'm sitting here on the balcony of my apartment complex, breathing in the cool Rexburg air, thinking these things. Honestly, I don't know the answers to the questions that are in my head right now. How do I find those answers? There is only one way I can think of and I think those answers will take some time getting to me or maybe that's lifelong questions that won't ever be answered. I'm to the point where I'm being forced to make a decision. I came to realize I need to worry about myself sometimes. I can't try to make everybody happy. If things affect me as hard as they are I need to think of myself and try to see myself with the future that I'm heading towards.

Do I live my own life or try to live a life people want me to live? One of the easiest questions to answer yet, one of the hardest ones to do.